Here is a follow up to my blurb on being single & lonely.
I am widely regarded as being a very outspoken and opinionated person. If you are one who is not outspoken or opinionated, you may surmise that since people who are outspoken and opinionated are so vocal, they must be comfortable being this way and not care what anybody has to say about it. This is not true, at least for me it wasn’t.
Here we are again at another milestone. Today marks 3 years since I started writing on this blog. More than any other year, I’ve had a hard time naming the theme for this year. Through all of the high highs and low lows, I was only aware that the common thread amongst them were love and limits.
Before I dive into the analysis of one of the best/worst years of my life, I want to take a second to acknowledge and celebrate the many positive things that have happened this year.
Black Men and Women need each other now more than ever. The purpose of this video is not to generalize or demonize a specific race of men but rather to give and receive understanding through opening up a conversation. Street harassment is a small issue within a larger underlying issue that divides us thus I have chosen to use it as a stepping stone towards mutual understanding that will make it easier for us to discuss and tackle bigger issues amongst Black men and women.
I’ve noticed I’ve been much happier lately now that I’ve learned to accept my negative feelings. As a human, experiencing negative feelings from time to time is inevitable.
When I can tell myself “I’m sad”, “I’m frustrated”, “I’m lonely” etc and be okay with feeling that way for the time being, I’m able to come to terms with those feelings and release them. It’s when I push back from feeling what I naturally feel that I begin to agonize.
“Ugh! Why do I feel like this?”
“I don’t want to feel this way, it’s uncomfortable!”
Hedonism, the theory that good and pleasurable feelings are the only acceptable feelings blocks the natural flow of our emotions. Our good is just as much a part of us as our bad– this apply to everything. It’s what makes us balanced human beings. It only makes sense then that rejecting negative feelings would knock me off my square, I need to experience those feelings in order to remain balanced and grounded.
The adage “go with the flow” never made more sense to me than it does now.